Burnout - How to Rekindle the Flame

This blog post looks at causes and symptoms of burnout in children. Originally published on 9th August 2022.

“You can do anything, but not everything.” - David Allen

This one hits me, hard. I’ve seen cases of children as young as 9 already showing signs of burnout and it breaks my heart. Burnout is defined as a state of mental, physical, or emotional exhaustion. Anyone can feel burned out; athletes, employees, students. Burnout can happen when we are faced with on-going stress or frustration and no chance to relax or recharge. In other words, all work and no play leads to burnout.

According to Mental Health UK, the signs of burnout are:

Feeling tired or drained most of the time
Feeling helpless, trapped and/or defeated
Feeling detached and alone in the world
Having a cynical and negative outlook
Self-doubt
Procrastinating and taking longer to get things done
Feeling overwhelmed

When I first started teaching I worked 11 hour days. In addition to a 55 hour working week at school, I spent countless hours working at home during evenings and weekends. It was exhausting, and by the end of my very first Autumn term, I was already burning out. As an adult, I recognised that this was not sustainable, and I was able to make the choice to cut back.

In comparison, a primary school child would typically spend an average of 7 hours in school, most of which is spent working. Often in their breaks, they have scheduled music lessons or clubs, particularly in the independent sector. They then go straight to tutoring (I’ve had a 9 year old child tell me they see 3 separate tutors a week to prepare for their 11+ exams) and/or to an extra curricular activity, after which they still have to complete their homework, fit in dinner and a shower, and get ready for bed. This child’s day has started from around 7 o’clock and not ended until 8 or 9 o’clock. A ten to eleven hour work day, and very little say in what it’s filled with.

I have had children as young as 9 come to me, crying and begging me to let them stay indoors over their break so they can catch up with their tutoring homework, because they don’t have the time after school to complete it. At 9 years old, I was experiencing the magic of Disneyland for the very first time - my students are infinitely more cynical than I was at that age, and given that there is such limited free time for them to do the things they value and enjoy, I can’t say that I blame them. In a survey conducted by the Office for National Statistics (ONS), one child said "You feel like you're constantly trapped, so you feel like you're in a hamster wheel and you're just going around in the hamster wheel and it's like really frustrating because it kind of intimidates you because it kind of makes you think like we don't mean anything to this world." (Child in England aged 13 to 15 years.) The survey also found that children described feeling overworked and pressured to be involved in extra-curricular activities with their participation was essential to their future success.

Now, I’m not saying that children shouldn’t take part in any clubs or extra-curricular activities; on the contrary, the ONS found that children described how spending time doing things they enjoyed, such as sports, computer games, art and social activities, enabled them to "relax and de-stress". I am merely suggesting that it should be a choice which children can make - which clubs they decide to do because they genuinely love doing it and gain something out of it, other than medals and external validation.

Most parents who push their children to achieve more at a younger age, do it with the best of intentions - often they haven’t had these opportunities themselves and they want to raise well rounded children. However, as the saying goes, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. Putting too much pressure on our children too early on in life can lead to unwanted consequences, such as lowered self-esteem and mental ill health. Research shows that anxiety disorders are the most common type of emotional disorder in children and typically have an early age of onset, during childhood or adolescence (Beesdo et al., 2009). In addition to this, major depressive disorder has been associated with a steady increase in prevalence throughout childhood and adolescence (Merikangas et al., 2010).

So how can we rekindle the flame?

I’d suggest reducing the amount of extra academic work children are given. I have always made it known in my teaching career that I do not believe in homework and that I think ‘homework’ should be a practical application of the theory learnt in school - play Monopoly to learn about money and saving, go shopping and encourage your child to work out the change themselves, ask them to write about something they love and let them present it to you to celebrate. Anything which allows them to apply their learning passionately, not as a chore.

Furthermore, it’s clear to see that stopping all extra-curricular activities is not the answer. Sports, music, art: it should all be full of passion and love, not just another chore on an endless list. Perhaps the answer lies in giving more choice and autonomy to our young people, in teaching them time management skills so they learn how to balance their free with activities they enjoy doing, and then trusting them to do this independently. Knowing your child, keeping an eye out for the signs of burnout or stress, and reacting quickly to it will all help to protect them from burning out.

Above all:

Remember that this is their time to play, to explore who they are and what they want, and to create incredible memories that give them that wonderful nostalgic feeling when they grow up. It’s OK for them not to do everything while knowing they can do anything.

Sources:

https://files.digital.nhs.uk/A...

https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplep...

https://mentalhealth-uk.org/bu...

https://www.understood.org/en/...

Categories: : Mental Health and Wellbeing